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The Fort Myers Florida Weekly Provides…”103 things to do in Southwest Florida before you die”.

The Fort Myers Florida Weekly Provides…”103 things to do in Southwest Florida before you die”.

“103 things to do in Southwest Florida before you die.”

HEY YOU THERE, READING THE PAPER, GET up. There’s stuff to do. According to the World Health Organization, if you’re an American, you’ve got about 80 to 82 years to get all this stuff done. We’re not talking about the mundane things like mowing the lawn or cleaning out the litter box (although you better do those things too,lest you get cited by code enforcement or contract toxoplasmosis).  What we propose is that you do the things that make life here worth living. We’ve compiled a set of actions that not only define the spirit of our subtropical playground, but will define you as a spirit who populated it; who embodied the warm, fecund, larky essence of Southwest Florida.

Time is short. Here’s your checklist. Get crackin’.

1. Make music, not war with the Punta Gorda Guitar Army on its Thursday night jam sessions at Gilchrist Park. It starts at around 6:30 p.m. rain or shine, and sometimes goes into the wee hours of the morning (theguitararmy.wordpress.com).

2. Visit the Revs Institute for Automotive Research(formerly the Collier Automotive Museum) and get some serious car envy going. It’s a carefully curated assemblage of the most profound and rare automotive innovations of our time (687-7387, revsinstitute.org).  The New York Times has declared it the finest sports car collection in America.

3. Go on one of photographer Clyde Butcher’s swamp walks out back behind his Big Cypress Gallery in the Everglades. Even better: Do it when you can book a night or two in the onsite Bungalow or the Swamp Cottage. (695-2428, clydebutchersbigcypressgallery.com).

4. Rent a beachfront hotel in summer on Fort Myers Beach, Sanibel or Manasota Key. Then watch lightning light up the skies after the sun goes down.

5. Polish off a plate of corned beef hash and French toast at the Over Easy Café on Sanibel Island (630 Tarpon Bay Road, 472-2625). Then walk off those calories on the beach.

6. On your mark, get set, go run the Edison 5K. Thousands of spectators line the route waiting for the parade that follows (edisonfestival.org). But really, they’re there to watch you run. Visit the website for more information.

7. Visit the Skunk Ape Research Center on Alligator Alley (U.S. 41or 40904 Tamiami Trail East, skunkape.info) and while you’re there, have your picture taken next to the giant panther statue at Trail Lakes Campground across the highway.

8. Take your friends on a bar crawl in downtown Fort Myers: Spirits of Bacchus, Ford’s Garage and City Tavern are just a few of the great watering holes in the River District.

9. Catch a Florida Rep show at the historic Arcade Theater(2269 First Street, floridarep.org). Any show will do. You’ll dig the creaky floors and the place still smells like the 1920’s (in a good way).

10. Eat lychees. They’re indigenous to China and grow well in South Florida. Pine Island is the hot spot for their cultivation in Southwest Florida. Look for them at stands and farmers markets from late May to early July.

11. Borrow a convertible and drive to the end of Captiva Island.

12. Drink a Tamiami Tan at Fort Myers Brewing Company in Gateway (12811 Commerce Lakes Drive, 313-6576).

13. Find everything you need and ten million things you don’t at the ultimate bazaar, the Ortiz Flea Market in East Fort Myers (1501 Ortiz Ave.) on Saturdays with more than 600 vendors.

14. Take a selfie on the pier at Gilchrist Park in Punta Gorda (400 W. Retta Esplanade, 575-3324) at sunset.

15. Take a day trip to the John & Mable Ringling Museum of Art in Sarasota (5401 Bay Shore Road, ringling.org).

17. On May 9, dress in your Elvis costume and congregate at the City Pier in downtown Fort Myers – the site where the King of Rock and Roll performed in 1955.

18. Fulfill your need for speed at a Friday night drag race at the Immokalee Regional Raceway (immraceway.com, 414 Newmarket Road West), where drivers can get their hot rods up to 140 MPH in just 1/8 mile.

19. Listen to the salacious lyrics and spectacular brass of Here Come the Mummies at Funk Fest Feb. 28 in Punta Gorda (funkfestpuntagorda.com). They’re a hoot. (call to confirm show times)

20. Ride the 100-mile (or any of the shorter rides) Tour de Cape (tourdecape.net). It’s one of the best cycling events in Florida. Jan. 16 and 17.

21. Wear a New York Yankees jersey to a Red Sox spring training game at Jet Blue Park in March. Really, it’s no problem… (boston.redsox. mlb.com/ bos/ ballpark/ jetblue_ park.jsp.)

22. Grab a maple bacon doughnut or three and a cup of Joe at Bennett’s Fresh Roast in downtown Fort Myers (2011 Bayside Parkway) or on Sanibel Island (1020 Periwinkle Way).

23. Camp at Koreshan State Historic Site in Estero (3800 Corkscrew Road,  floridastateparks.org/park/koreshan) and feel the vibe of Cyrus Teed, founder of the Koreshan sect.

24. Paddle the Great Caloosa Blueway (leeparks.org/blueway/) — a 190-mile marked paddlecraft trail that meanders through Lee County’s coastal waters and inland tributaries.

25. Take your mutt to Dog Beach on Lovers Key (8800 Estero Blvd.)

26. Enjoy stone crabs at at City Seafood on the waterfront in Everglades City. Season starts in mid-October and can run through May. cityseafood1.com.

27. Roll on the floor laughing at one of the many comedy clubs in Southwest Florida. We like Off The Hook (offthehook- comedy.com), Visani Restaurant & The Comedy Zone (Visani.net) and Laugh-In Comedy Cafe (laughincomedycafe.com).

28. Go to the movies where you can have a real drink, gourmet dinner and sit in a big cushy recliner as you gaze at the silver screen (Prado Stadium 12, 25251 Chamber of Commerce Drive, Bonita Springs).

29. Meander through the mangroves on the boardwalk to Clam Pass Park (465 Seagate Drive) or hop aboard one of the free shuttles to this beautiful Naples beach. Explore 35 acres of coastal habitat by foot or kayak to observe all manner of marine life.

30. Bring a pool noodle and ride the tide through the channel with a drink in your hand at Keewaydin Island. More Redneck Yacht Club than not, join the locals who love tying their boats to the beach and basking in sun, sand and beer.

31. Venture out to Solomon’s castle in Ona, about an hour’s drive from Punta Gorda (solomonscastle.com). Take a tour of the quirky castle designed and built by Howard Solomon that houses galleries of his fantastic sculptures. Have lunch in the “Boat in the Moat” restaurant and take a stroll along Horse Creek. But leave your credit cards at home. They don’t accept them. (863) 494-6077.

32. Attend annual anti-hurricane party on the last Saturday in June. Little Bar’s Spammy Jammy combines processed pork products, pajamas and quirk to create a party that perfectly captures the Goodland spirit on Marco Island (littlebarrestaurant.com, 205 Harbor Drive).

33. Toss a mullet at the annual Mullet Toss Championships (matlachamariners.org) atMatlacha Community Park (4577 Pine Island Road)Saturday, March 21 starting at 10 a.m.

34. Take your boat or the ferry to Cayo Costa State Park for a look at an untouched Florida beach not accessible by bridge or land. Explore nature trails, snorkel, fish, picnic and stay in a primitive cabin.

35. Ride your bike through the J.N. “Ding” Darling National Wildlife Refuge on Sanibel Island. Choose to pedal the 4-mile loop within the refuge or the 8-mile loop that returns via the bike path on Sanibel-Captiva Road. Either way, you’re guaranteed to see more birds and critters than just about anywhere else around these parts, especially this time of year (fws.gov/dingdarling).

36. Nature lovers can’t leave Southwest Florida without strolling the twomile boardwalk at Corkscrew Swamp Sanctuary (corkscrew.audubon.org), which wends its way through a variety of inland Florida habitats.

361/2. Catch football’s fall classic, the Coconut Bowl (naplesfan.com/Coconut- Bowl.html), Collier County’s longest running football feud between Naples High School and Lely High School. Winner takes the “nut,” a 40-year-old coconut that was recently renamed “The Joe Klimas Trophy.”

37.  Sneak into the old Amtel Hotel in downtown Fort Myers (huge pink building at the east end) and wander its creepy halls. Beware of homeless folks and cops.

38. Find some jazz and settle in for an evening. Jam sessions pop up at restaurants and clubs throughout Southwest Florida. Here are a few places to check out in Naples: ALTO Live Jazz Kitchen (altonaples.com); Chrissy’s Courthouse Tavern (chrissystavern.com); andFred’s Food, Fun & Spirits (fredsdiner.com).

39. Get your fill of swamp meat from Cracklin’ Jacks in Naples (cracklinjacks.com, 2560 39th Street SW) where you can order a plate of gator tail, frog legs and catfish.

40. Have a to-die-for fried treat at Trackside Donuts in Bonita Springs (28001 Old 41 Road). You won’t find a more decadent jelly-filled doughnut in Southwest Florida.

39. Read Florida Weekly’s top 103 things to do in SWFL before you die.

40. Be the first to experience a music festival on the grounds of Florida Tracks & Trails in Punta Gorda. The weekend Country Live Music Festivalruns – (florida.countrylifemusicfestival.com/lineup.html).

 41. Watch the Super Bowl on the beach at Marco Island Marriott’s (400 S Collier Boulevard, 394-2511) annual “Big Game at the Beach” and make your northern friends jealous.

 42. Visit the taproom at Fat Point Brewery — and enjoy fresh, local, hand-crafted beer indoors or out in the beer garden. 611 Charlotte Street, Punta Gorda (fatpoint.com, 800-380-7405).

43. Get groovy with the locals at the annual Mardi Gras Boat Parade  (stansidlehour.net, 221 Goodland Drive), vist the site for mroe details

44. Take some pizza to Seagate Beach for “beach dinner” at sunset. Check first for pelicans in the pine trees overhead.

45. See SWFL flora and fauna the way it can only be seen from a kayak on Charlotte County’s Blueway Trails (charlottecountyfl.com/communityservices/ CalendarsRecreation/BWTbrochure. pdf).

46. Make the international art scene with a visit to Marcus Jensen’s downtown Fort Myers studio, UNIT A (1922 Evans Ave., 240-1053, marcusjansen.com). Mr. Jansen displays his paintings all over the world. You might just find something you really have to have.

47. Volunteer at the CCMI Soup Kitchen (3429 Dr.Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard, ccmileecounty.com).

48. Groove to the funky beats of the tropics at the Nav-A-Gator, the No. 1 Trop Rock venue in the U.S. Take aPeace River wildlife tour with Capt. Kirk (nav-a-gator.com, (941) 625-4407).

49. Order the “Bada Bing” and have your meal prepared in a 100-pound wheel of Parmigiano cheese at Carmelo’s in Punta Gorda (carmelosristorante.com, (941) 621-4091).

 50. Take a picnic basket to Pottery Express & Bamboo Farm (potteryexpress.com, (941) 505-8400) and spend the day surrounded by nature and beautiful colorful pottery from Mexico and Vietnam. Explore the mini pottery museum inside.

51. For an object lesson in the ephemeral nature of barrier islands, take a boat to Cape Romano to see the dome houses built in 1980 that were eventually overtaken by the sea. Thirty years ago they were a testament to space-age architecture; today they are more reminiscent of a post-apocalyptic shelter.

52. Shop, dine and Visit the Military Heritage museum at Fishermen’s Village in Punta Gorda (Fishville.com, 1200 W. Retta Esplanade).

53. Walk the bridge between Punta Gorda and Port Charlotte. Great breeze; terrific exercise; marvelous views.

54. Tour the Three Suns Bison Ranch in Punta Gorda and learn about American bison, its history and how they live on the ranch, which raises hormone and antibiotic-free meats (threesunsranch.com).

55. See how wildlife can be nurtured back to health at Peace River Wildlife Center, a nonprofit rehab facility (3400 Ponce de Leon Parkway, oldMarion Avenue West) in Punta Gorda. In season, enjoy the center’s Sunset Celebrations and wine, cheese and a beautiful sunset over Charlotte Harbor. (peaceriverwildlifecenter.org, (941) 637-3830).

56. Get a taste of authentic Florida Cracker culture by watching the twiceyearly Swamp Buggy Races at Florida Sports Park in Naples (thefloridasportspark.com, 774-2701).

57. Go for a little James Bond action with Captain CJ’s Jet Pack Adventures (evergladesjetpackadventures.com, 389- 9538). Strap on the water-propelled pak and take to the sky like Bond in “Thunderball.”

58. Take a picture with Jesus-man in downtown Fort Myers (First and Hendry streets or thereabouts). He often appears on weekend evenings, especially during Music Walk every third Friday of the month or Art Walk every first Friday.

59. Fish off the Matlacha Bridge, where Pine Island Road connects Cape Coral to Pine Island.

60. Catch a roller derby bout (fortmyersderbygirls.com). Grab a pitcher of beer and watch tough women in stockings and rollerskates.

61. Buy the Thirsty Thursday Pack for the Fort Myers Miracle games starting in April at Hammond Stadium (14400 Six Mile Cypress Parkway, 768-4210). You get general admission and your own 14-ounce mug to bring on Thirsty Thursdays. Cheers.

62. Glow bowl at Gator Lanes (7050 Crystal Drive, gatorlanes.com). Thursdays 9:30 p.m. to 2 a.m. $20 unlimited bowling, pizza and soda, add $5 for unlimited drafts.

63. Going… going… gone. Watch the sun set from Fort Myers Beach pier. All the street performers are out there this time of year, plus the visitors in black socks and sandals are fun to watch too.

64. Eat swamp cabbage, the traditional dish made from the hearts of the common sabal palm, especially at the Swamp Cabbage Festival in LaBelle this weekend (swampcabbagefestival.org).

65. Mmmm… boiled peanuts! Get ‘em at a gas station hot ‘n’ salty.

66. Volunteer to care for a stray pooch or cat at Gulf Coast Humane Society (gulfcoasthumanesociety.org, 332-0364). You just might find love.

67. Forget about shelling. Collect shark teeth on Venice Beach (off U.S. 41 about 30 miles north of Punta Gorda), known worldwide as the shark tooth capital.

68. Sing karaoke at Mona Lisa Italian Restaurant and bar any night of the week (7091 College Parkway, 939-5344).

69. Get some ribs from the dude across the street from the Imaginarium on Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard in downtown Fort Myers.

70. Eat lamb rogan josh at Passage to India in Naples (975 Imperial Golf Course Blvd., 513-0024), perhaps the best Indian restaurant on U.S. east coast.

71. Bored on a Sunday afternoon? Try some Drag Queen Bingo at The Bottom Line (3090 Evans Ave., tblnightclub.com) in Fort Myers.

72. Get drunk at The Cottage on Fort Myers Beach (1250 Estero Boulevard).

If you’re further south on Estero Island, Doc’s Beach House on Bonita Beach (27908 Hickory Blvd.) will do the job too.

72. Sip some vino while the musicians blow notes at the Punta Gorda Wine & Jazz Festival, held every late February and enjoy the jazz brunch at theIsles Yacht Club the following day. Coming up in downtown Punta Gorda (puntagordachamber.com, (941) 639-3720).

74. Kayak among the manatees in the Orange River. (If you can’t kayak, you can still check out the sea cows at Manatee Park, 10901 Palm Beach Blvd.)

75. Cycle around Lake Okeechobee starting in Clewiston. It’s 100 miles around the lake and there’s some construction to contend with but the views are terrific.

76. Indulge you sweet tooth with a double scoop of homemade Love Boat Ice Cream (16229 San Carlos Blvd.).

77. Rent a shelter and have a big family picnic at Lakes Regional Park (7330 Gladiolus Drive). Then hike the 2.5 miles of nature trails.

78. Snap a selfie for posterity under Thomas Edison’s massive Banyan tree (2350 McGregor Blvd., edisonfordwinterestates.com).

79. Step aboard the Seminole Gulf Railway: Murder Mystery Train and experience dinner theater on the old CSX railroad line (semgulf.com, for reservations, 275-8487).

80. Rent a jet ski at the beach and look for dolphins. For a bonus, ask your guide to point you in the direction of that little island near Big Carlos Pass at the south end of Estero Island where the nudists like to, um, hang out.

81. Help keep the beat at the drum circle in Centennial Park in downtown Fort Myers on Sunday late afternoon and evening.

82. Head to Key West for the weekend but don’t suffer that long drive. Sail there on the Key West Express. The big catamarans leave from Fort Myers Beach (1200 Main Street, seakeywestexpress.com).

83. Go through the red tape and get permission to have a bonfire on the beach on Sanibel Island. Permitting is through the Sanibel Fire Control District, and you must present the application in person. It’s worth it. (472-5525 or sanibelfire.com).

84. Sit outside at The Dock at Crayton Cove (845 12th Avenue South) on the weekend of the Naples Winter Wine Festival and watch the steady stream of private jets come and go from Naples Municipal Airport. Your next chance is Jan. 28-31, 2016.

85. Stake out a great viewing spot and catch the Edison Festival of Light Parade — a two-hour extravaganza featuring national participants and local marching bands. Wave to Paperboy on the Florida Weekly float.  (edisonfestival.org).

86. Spend a weekend at The Ritz- Carlton Beach Resort (ritzcarlton.com/ naples) and promise yourself not to leave the property, for anything. Check in and check out of your daily routine for some pure indulgence. There’s really no other place like it. Don’t you deserve it?

87. Dine outdoors day or night under a marvelous canopy of seagrapes at Trabue Restaurant in Punta Gorda (trabuerestaurant.com, (941) 639-0900).

88. Learn how to sail. You can’t do it in a day, but it’s a skill that will give you enjoyment for a lifetime. Check out the Offshore Sailing School for a week of intensive lessons, or a nonprofit sailing club for learning at a more leisurely pace. Captiva Island and Fort Myers Beach (offshoresailing.com), Naples (gulfcoastsailingclub.org) and Fort Myers (edisonsailingcenter.org).

89. Work up an appetite and tuck into a 1-pound Kobe burger at Jimmy P’s Butcher Shop & Deli in Naples (across fromCoastland Center on U.S. 41, 643- 6328, jimmypsbutchershop.com). While waiting for your order, peruse the cases filled with every cut of meat imaginable.

90. Sip a cocktail at sunset at The Wyvern Hotel’s Rooftop Barin downtown Punta Gorda (101 East Retta Esplanade). The view is spectacular (thewyvernhotel.com).

91. Take a dip in the Gulf of Mexico on a full-moon night and stir up the phosphorescence. Take a couple of children with you if you can. It’s like magic.

92. Go stargazing in an ancient bald cypress forest at Corkscrew Swamp Sanctuary (corkscrew.audubon.org). The next monthly Corkscrew After Hours is Friday, Feb. 20. There will only be a sliver of a moon, which means dark skies for great stargazing.

93. Watch canoes go head to head at the annual Great Dock Canoe Race on Saturday, (greatdockcanoerace. com), Neapolitans’ unofficial end-of-season celebration. Amateurs make fools of themselves, experts sweat it out to the finish line and everyone else enjoys a tailgate party on shore at Naples Bay. Visit site for more details.

94. Picnic among the tombstones under the old oaks, their branches dripping with Spanish moss and gnarled like the arms of the old and wise, at rural Alva Cemetery(off North River Road at the end of Cemetery Road), where grave sites date back to the mid 1800s.

95. Visit the ValuJet Flight 592 monument. Flight 592 out of Miami crashed in the Everglades on May 11, 1996. The memorial consists of 110 concrete pillars pointing to the location of the crash several miles into the swamp. It’s just north of Alligator Alley about 12 miles west of Miami’s Krome Avenue.

96. Celebrate the holidays as only a subtropical peninsular community would — with a parade of twinkling boats — at the annual Venetian Bay Boat Parade in December (venetianvillage.com).

97. Stay indie. Independent films are popping up all over town. In March, the Fort Myers Film Festival screens dozens of them in several locations. Fortmyersfilmfestival.com.

98. Go muddin’. This redneck tradition involves spinning tires and drenched soil (redneckyachtclubmudpark.com).

99. Feel the power of a tarpon on your line in Boca Grande Pass, a famous spot to catch the high-jumping silver kings from May through August. If you’re not up to the challenge, watch the experts at the World’s Richest Tarpon Tournament in May (worldsrichesttarpon.com).

100. Ride the bus. Make conversation with the transportation-challenged working class (rideleetran.com).

101 Jump out of a airplane. Don’t forget your parachute. SW Florida Skydive Club, skydiveswflorida.com in Punta Gorda or skydivespaceland.com in Clewiston.

102. Play miniature golf like it’s real golf. Tee up, yell “Fore!” and whack that baby with all you’ve got.

103. Fall in love.

 

 

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